Just Breathe

::BREATHE::
 

I have to keep reminding myself to do just that. Yesterday was the first day of Kindergarten for Jaxson. 

New school. New teachers. New nurse. Newly pumping.

It can't get any newer than this.
 

::BREATHE::
 

I feel like I'm walking a tightrope. The panic I feel in my chest just won't subside. I feel like I'm being rushed... forced to conform... 

I'M NOT READY!!! 

::BREATHE:: 

The new teacher is scared... perhaps annoyed that I've requested her check Jaxson's blood sugar when she suspects he may be low. 

Her eyes widened at the very thought.. I may have even detected a bit of disgust in her wrinkled nose.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!??! My son is NOT a DISEASE!!

::BREATHE::

I would give anything to have Jaxson back at his old school.

Where I didn't have to worry about how well he was being taken care of.

I've taken much for granted... didn't realize how good we really had it.

But here we are.

New home. New city. New schools. New surroundings. New people.

Our old way of life is a thing of the past.

::BREATHE::

Give me patience.

Give me compassion.

Give me understanding.

Give me wisdom.

Give me peace of mind.

and remember...

::BREATHE::