For the past several days I have been feeling overwhelmed by all that is on my plate. I wish had that picture perfect family that is there for me through life's ups and downs, but that is just not meant to be. I truly feel alone in seeing to it that Jaxson is taken care of properly. My teen daughters are busy with their own lives. They will give me a hand when I ask, but my requests are usually met with indignation, so I stop asking. And dad... I'm sure he means well, but he has really taken a 'hands-off' approach to Jaxson's care since he was diagnosed. Denial? Maybe. But it hurts me deeply.
I think if I could talk with someone who understands, sympathizes and relates I could sort out the clutter in my brain, but I really don't know where to start looking for that either. I am currently contemplating quitting my studies in Medical Transcription because I simply can't focus on it.
Jaxson is THE most important thing to me now. I'm fighting for is life. Have I left my family in the lurch giving all my attention to caring for Jaxson? Are my priorities out of whack? How do I make this work? I don't even know any more. I feel like I'm losing my mind most days. Strong on the surface, but falling apart on the inside.
I'm sorry you are going through this without any support. We don't have any family here, but I am lucky to have a very supportive husband. I can't imagine how hard it is to go at it by yourself.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if you sat everyone down and told them your struggles... do they know how hard it is for you?
Sending you HUGS!
Thank you for your kind words Joanne. I will try setting everyone down. Typically what happens though is they end up feeling attacked. Maybe my approach is all wrong?
ReplyDeleteFeeling much better today. Feels good to be able to vent and have someone understand. :)
HUGS back to you!
Oh, I feel for you. I know how tough it. Know that we D mamas out here in the blogosphere are here for you. Many of us are on Facebook and Twitter, too. We vent, share stories, give and receive support, offer tips, and just "get it." We're there for each other, and we welcome you into our circle! I know it's not the same as having hands-on help at home. I know we can't necessarily give you a mom's night out or pick up Jaxson from school, but we'll be there across the miles, cheering you on, lifting you up, helping as much we can.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I love your blog name. D-Tour is great! :)
Hi Deanna - my 4 year old son was diagnosed with T1 when he was 15 months old..it has taken a couple of years for me to find a good support network. I am sorry you are struggling. Like Heidi said..there are lots of us d mamas out here who totally get where you are coming from and are here for you across the wires even if we can't be there to give you some support in person. Just say the word..and a virtual "I SO understand" and a big hug will be coming your way..
ReplyDeleteHi Deanna,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to blogging! I promise this is the BEST place to find the support you need!
My almost 4 year old son was diagnosed with T1 on 7/10/08 at just 18 months old. I have been in your shoes in those early days. I too was desperate for support. I joined other sites and "met" some great people. But once I started really getting into blogging, I found exactly what I was looking for. These amazing D Mamas were just what I needed!
Know that we are here for you.
(((HUGS))), Tracy
Hi Deana! I so remember being EXACTLY where you are.... feeling very alone, and very over-whelmed. I wont lie - I still have days like that, but they are much fewer and further between now (just over two years after dx.)
ReplyDeleteVirtual ((((HUGS)))) will often work just as well as real ones.... and I will be happy to be here (along with a whole slew of other D Mama's) to hand out as many of those hugs as you need. We can be your sounding board, your confidant and your FRIENDS anytime you need us!!!
((((((HUGS))))))
Donna
http://sugarkidsblog.blogspot.com/
Hang in there...we are all here with you for cyber (((HUGS))), belly bumps, HOLLAS, and high-fives sister!
ReplyDeleteI do think that maybe you do need to have a family meeting to get everyone on the same page. "D" does affect EVERYONE in the family in some way, shape, or form.
Please feel free to talk/email/etc anytime. The lines of communication with me are always open. I never met a D Mama I didn't like! (or love for that matter)
Reyna (sweetandjoe@gmail.com)
Hello Deana,
ReplyDeleteI so know how you are feeling, with 6 kids and 1 T1, a husband who works A LOT sometimes I feel like it is all me and it drives me nuts! Hang in there and know things will work there way out...it always does and find your support anywhere you can find it!! Talk with your family and share your feelings maybe everyone is feeling a little confused and overwhelmed and needs some guidance on how to help you and Jaxson.
Good luck and I will be reading!! Great blog name btw love it!!
Hi Deanna!
ReplyDeleteI think all of us D Mamas can relate in some way to what your going through right now. It is tough... especially in the beginning. Just know that it WILL get better.
For support... well you found it! I see some comments above from some of the BEST supporting friends a gal could ask for. Glad your here :)
Hi Deana!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the blogging world. It's the perfect place to vent your frustrations and receive support.
My daughter is 10 now and was diagnosed at age 4. It is hard, especially when you feel like you are doing it alone. I do understand how you feel because I am pretty much doing it alone as well. It isn't easy but I have the support of a lot of wonderful D mamas.
By starting this blog, you have opened the door to a lot of other D Mama bloggers and we will all be there to support you. We're here to listen and to help when we can.
(((HUGS))) to you. You are not alone now. We're all here for you.
My daughter was dx a little over 5 years ago. For the 1st 2 years, I couldn't talk about it with anyone. In the 3rd year, I began scoping out support groups on line...a little over 2 years ago, I began blogging.
ReplyDeleteI know that we aren't "there", but we are HERE. Pound away at the keyboard and know that you will never be alone again.
Hi Deanna! I'm Misty and my 7 year old daughter, Ally, was diagnosed in February 2009 at 5 yrs old. I really get how you are feeling right now because I was there not very long ago! I have to tell you that I am proud of you for reaching out....the support and friendships that I have found in the diabetes online community is beyond words! I hope that you will join us and feel the love!
ReplyDeleteI blog at Life is Like a Box of Chocolates... www.boxofchocolatesblog.com
Welcome to the DOC. I am a relatively new member as well and I have been blown away by the support I have found here. Whatever you're feeling, someone out there has probably been there too.
ReplyDeleteBest group of friends ever! I am so glad you found our blogger community! We will be here for you, and forever be able to say, "we get it!" Which in this world...is priceless!
ReplyDeleteWelcome!