For the past several days I have been feeling overwhelmed by all that is on my plate. I wish had that picture perfect family that is there for me through life's ups and downs, but that is just not meant to be. I truly feel alone in seeing to it that Jaxson is taken care of properly. My teen daughters are busy with their own lives. They will give me a hand when I ask, but my requests are usually met with indignation, so I stop asking. And dad... I'm sure he means well, but he has really taken a 'hands-off' approach to Jaxson's care since he was diagnosed. Denial? Maybe. But it hurts me deeply.
I think if I could talk with someone who understands, sympathizes and relates I could sort out the clutter in my brain, but I really don't know where to start looking for that either. I am currently contemplating quitting my studies in Medical Transcription because I simply can't focus on it.
Jaxson is THE most important thing to me now. I'm fighting for is life. Have I left my family in the lurch giving all my attention to caring for Jaxson? Are my priorities out of whack? How do I make this work? I don't even know any more. I feel like I'm losing my mind most days. Strong on the surface, but falling apart on the inside.